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Miami Leads the Nation in Illegal Butt Injections

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 Image via Miami Gardens Police Station
Image via Miami Gardens Police Station

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Miami may well be the capital of America's next epidemic: illegal butt enhancements. A recent article by Vice chronicles the excruciating details of one Coral Gables salon owner's near-death experience after receiving black market injections to inflate her derriere and the over $70,000 procedure she was lucky enough to have undergone to solve her backside problem.

According to the article, an increasing number of women are voyaging into our city to illegally inject silicone, mineral oil or concrete into their butts, only to face sometimes fatal consequences years later. In a place where fake body parts are more common than natural ones, it's fitting that our body conscious population has moved on from inflating their breasts to inflating their asses, no matter the cost.

What's not fitting is why having an ass the size of a boulder is at all appealing. Unless, of course, you're the "supreme stripper" at King of Diamonds, which the writer discovers is a very good thing to be. Miami is a tough city to live in if you're talking about body consciousness, but is tripling the size of your ass worth risking your life? Sorry to burst your bubbles, ladies, but we're going to have to turn our backsides on this one.
· Buttloads of Pain [Vice]